I STILL LOVE YOU

Late in the night with all my passion and might I stepped out. Setting out on a journey to that part of downtown where the lights were red and mixed just like the wine, music loud and trade of stolen goods went on. I don’t have to be here. I have had many previous visits to the red lights district. It’s demeaning for someone my dignity to be found here at this ungodly hour. But I cannot forgo my mission here.I know my life is at risk but I have to pursue my soiled gem once again.

Finding my way through the stalls that housed the goods, I seriously hated the scenery but everyone seems to be catching some sort of fun. Three men with hot eyes and built muscles stared at me. I moved up the building to the part with sticky floors, and almost no light. I finally got to cubicle number 8. Behind the door were men waiting to have a buy. Their intention to buy the good I loved and owned was more than an arrow shot through my spine to ribs and hearts. The man in me rose but the hurt within was killing.  I could fight if they had started one.

With no thought of the consequences I crashed open cubicle 8 and there she was as usual. The night has been bad but this is my worst. On a bed as small as my maid’s, by another man half-dressed laid my wife – the one I love. Her lip makeup was wiped leaving patches of makeover. Her lips still dripped from the lips of the dude she just kissed. She managed a tipsy step off the bed. She betrayed my love. Before I could bid her come, she said sorry just like always. She looked unkempt, was scared, felt ashamed, unworthy and knew she was caught once again. She asked me to give up on her cos she was just not worth the love bestowed on her. I looked in her eyes, reached out to her hand though she smelled foul from cheating on me and said, “I still love you”.

She resisted following me out because of the shame but I held on and dragged her along. She kept saying sorry. But as I turned again to see her face reaffirm my love, she had her other hand around that strange man. 

I almost froze. Isn’t it crazy she couldn’t stop cheating on me even when I’m with her? Isn’t it insane she could repeat her sorry and her cheating concurrently?  Isn’t it crazy I forgave her all these and yet she could not for a moment give me back some love? Yes, it is! But isn’t that how we treat our God?

I cannot speak for you, but I know I lie, say sorry and lie again. I know how much I seek forgiveness for the same thing not because I doubt he forgave when I asked, but because I repeated it after He forgave. He calls for a relationship but my wicked heart feels for the world and fails to follow his leading. What is more contradictory than the fact that Jesus comes searching for us in room 8 because we are the prostitutes in there.

Stop hurting Him and be faithful. Don’t be a “Gommer”. Let us step out of the brothel mess, leave behind the mattress of unfaithfulness. Let us by faith hold on to God’s hand, let go of the grip on the sin that calls us to cheat on Him and walk with Him as He leads us home away from room 8.